Debating

I have grown rather tired of debating with people. I find that most I engage in discussions either use too many ad hominems or I find myself defending myself or my views as opposed as attacking them. I don't know it just really depresses me when I think about it. It makes me sad as well. And I think it has something to do with the fact that I look down on myself so much in an attempt at avoiding criticism. I just can't take it when it comes to a personal criticism. I already feel like pond scum most of the time. I am a financial mess, I hate to work-not because I am lazy but social anxiety and my views on capitalism cause a great deal of tension-and so many other reasons...by my fay I cannot reason right now and just wish to be left alone...like forever...